Jeff was walking. Walking along a grey road. He came to a house with windows with silhouettes of dancing figures. "Oh yes! A party!" screamed Jeff. \n\nJeff knocked on the door. nobody answered. Jeff wondered why. Maybe they were scared. Jeff DID look pretty scary. Jeff knocked again and yelled "OPEN UP! I'M NOT SCARY, I PROMISE!" Still no answer. \n\nJeff sighed very loudly, then a note slid under the door. It read; "PLZ GO AWAY WE IZ ZGARED OF JEFFZ AND SAUCES!" Jeff sighed very softly. \n\n[[He turned around and continued walking down the road, tears brimming in his eyes...]]\n\n-By McKenzie Read
Drawing up a chart to tell her the "dos" and "don'ts"\n\n[[But one thing he forgot, was...]]\n\n-By Finnigan Ryan
The world had fallen under command of a tyrannical race of YouTube unboxing video creators. Those nightmare beings... The constant droning. "Uh, hey guys! Today I'm going to unbox my new Xbox ONE. Isn't that cool! Alright, so to cut the box tape you're gonna need some keys or scissors." Nobody cares... NOBODY CARES!!!\n\nJeff cried, for talented YouTube creators were no more. He was about to jump into a conveniently placed pit full of spinning razor blades when he saw something. Flitting about. Was it a glimmer of hope? A chance for civilization? No, it was just a fly.\n\n[[So Jeff jumped into the pit and...]]\n\n-By Marcus Garvey
Follow Jeff through his strange and inconsistent adventures to... Well, we lost track of that early in the story.\n\n [[Okay!]]
Santa Claus came in and sexually assaulted everybody. Oops, um, is anybody still reading? This story is "R" 18+ now... So...\n\n[[Then...]]\n\n-By Lewis O'Flynn
Found a dungeon exactly 10.13278 metres away... SO LET'S EXPLORE!!! And in this very dungeon sat an old man and this man said "It's too dangerous to go unarmed. Take this!"\n\n[[And Jeff got a...]]\n\n-By Finnigan Ryan
AN ALIEN WHO HAD VAPORIZED JEFF'S BROTHER, MOHAMMED! JEFF THEN SHOT THE ALIEN IN THE HEAD AND THE ALIEN EXPLODED. HE NEEDED TELL HIS MOTHER THAT MOHAMMED WAS DEAD!\n\n[[He decided the best way to tell her was...]]\n\n-By Theo Richardson
Jeff slipped on a misplaced glass of milk. He fell backwars and landed on a misplaced butcher's cleaver. Jeff's entire arm was severed. He screamed through his nose, louder than 1 million sick babies crying out for food all at once! Blood was everywhere! On the floor, on the couch, on the walls, on the couch! Oh god, so much blood! \n\nJeff, still screaming through his nose, grabbed a misplaced telephone and dialled the number of Dr Frankenstein. "Help! I'm dying! Woargh! Argh! Blergh!" screamed Jeff into the phone. "Yes, I'll be there in approximately 3 minutes". Said the doctor. Jeff hung up and passed out from blood loss.\n\n[[7 months later...]]\n\n-By McKenzie Read
Jeff was a successful sausage-in-a-bun chef. But he was diversifying. He now made custard, pillows and sold SLAVES! Jeff began to get egotistic. He got a "big head"... LITERALLY! It was growing at an exponential rate. \n\nIt got bigger and bigger. Oh no! That's too big. It knocked over Jeff's icecream. Icecream poured out of the tub. It poured and poured... POURED AND POURED! IT WOULDN'T STOP! Jeff was drowning in the icecream, now. WHY WOULDN'T THE ICECREAM STOP! Jeff drowned in the icecream...\n\nAnd respawned. He realised, that to prevent his growing head from causing him to lose any more lives (of which he now only had 2), he must defeat his ego in battle and drop it into the fires of Mount Doom.\n\n[[But his quest was impeded by...]]\n\n-By Marcus Garvey
Jeff decided to sing himself asleep. Jeff was very tired and he had had a long day... Jeff dreams:\n\n<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< The Dreamscape ><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>\n\nA long time ago, WAAAYY before the superbowl and things like lemonade, the Cretan republic was full of smarts. But one question weighed heavily on their Cretan hearts... What is the circumference of a circle?\n\nBut it was set on irrational numbers, which ranked amongst their biggest blunders.\n\nThey worked on it for years and discovered one of their biggest fears... I can't be certain if they cried when irrationality was realised. But then something in them died, the day they discovered, PI!\n\n<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< The Dreamscape ><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>\n\nJeff was snoring now, oblivious to the world around him.\n\nSweet dreams, Jeff.\n\n[[The next morning...]]\n\n-By Lewis O'Flynn\n
Jeff went to his local Thai restaurant to purchase some Greek food. Silly Jeff. Jeff wasn't particuarly bright, a fact which left his disability to purchase food from their correct dineries somewhat forgivable. According to his wife, however, this was merely a false image projected in order to escape responsibility.\n\nReflecting on this, one would realise that this method has worked. Jeff has never, in his life, been asked to do anything difficult or face justice for his actions. In fact, Jeff is a criminal mastermind who sells drugs to kittens who then distribute them to Extra-Terrestrials. He often goes by an alias: Osama Bin Laden. Recently, he faked his death under this false identity. Very funny, Jeff. Another brilliant practical joke.\n\n[[One, seemingly normal, morning... Jeff discovered...]]\n\n-By Marcus Garvey
The Sensational And Mind-Boggling Adventures Of Jeff
Your bravery is commendable. Let it begin!\n\n\n\n\n [[One Day...]]
Baxter the lizard recieved a cage of giant, ravenous mosquitos from his local blackmarket... "Muahaha, there will be more itchy mammals than I ever could have DREAMED! NO ONE IS SAFE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!" Baxter bellowed.\n\n*Knock, Knock-Knock, Knock, Knock-Knock-Knock, Knock, Knock*\n\nKnuckles rapped against the safe-house door rhythmically.\n\n*Knock, Knock-Knock, Knock, Knock-Knock-Knock, Knock, Knock*\n\nWho was this mysterious, yet funky, door-knocker.\n\n*Knock, Knock-Knock, Knock, Knock-Knock-Knock, Knock, Knock*\n\nWas it the Butt-Puncher Squad, here to foil Baxter's evil plans?\n\n*Knock, Knock-Knock, Knock, Knock-Knock-Knock, Knock, Knock*\n\nOh no, Baxter's hard work will be to no avail!\n\n*Knock, Knock-Knock, Knock, Knock-Knock-Knock, Knock, Knock*\n\nBut wait... Is that not the signature knock of Jeff, the legendary steering wheel salesman?\n\n*Knock, Knock-Knock, Knock, Knock-Knock-Knock, Knock, Knock*\n\nIt is! Baxter shall meet a famous person! Yes! Ahahahahahahaha! Good job, Baxter!\n\n[[But the joy was short lived, for when Jeff entered...]]\n\n-By Marcus Garvey
Gun and blasted Mohammed's head off. Jeff was sick of this game...\n\n[[Later...]]\n\n-By Lewis O'Flynn
Jeff woke up. He yawned. He yawned again. And again. He couldn't stop yawning. He freaked out. He could hardly breathe. He tried to eat something; a bagel with sweet and sour sauce. But he couldn't swallow properly. Oh god, Jeff was choking! He screamed through his nose and his cat heard. But the cat was cruel and left him to die.\n\nJeff writhed on the ground and screamed through his nose for 2.134578 hours but nobody came.\n\n[[Cold and alone, he passed out. When he awoke...]]\n\n-By McKenzie Read
The call of the wind... The one sentence that stabbed cold, hard, fear into the hearts of enemies. A phrase that kept Jeff from keeling over, with knife in hand, to end it all... "RELEASE THE KRAKEN"!\n\nIt was beautiful. The sheer complexity of this magnificent beast surfing through the deep depths of water, where no man has ever been before, was unbelievable.\n\nIt was Jeff's job to ride it INTO BATTLE! They were unstoppable together...\n\n[[Until...]]\n\n-By Lewis O'Flynn
Jeff's face puffed up for some reason.\n\n[[UNTIL...]]\n\n-By Finnigan Ryan
An alien which Jeff quickly shot in the head and the alien exploded... But then a shining white figure appeared from on the horizon. "SURPRISE, FOOLS!" yelled the figure. Jeff cried "CRAP! IT'S JESUS!" and then the figure said "nope, it's just me... GANDALF THE WHITE"! Then Jeff and Gandalf went to the sire and Jeff shot Frodo in the head and then Frodo exploded and then Jeff was impaled by Fatty Bolger, the hobbit. But Jeff shot him in the head too and then the Bolger exploded as well. Then Jeff ran away and eventually found Erebor.\n\n[[When he got there he...]]\n\n-By Theo Richardson
He saw an ALIEN! He had to whip it... Into shape... Shape it up! Get it straight! Go forward! Move ahead! Try to detect it! It's not to late! To whip it! Whip it good!\n\nThen he shot the alien in the head. But he didn't realise something. The alien was... MOHAMMED! JEFF'S BROTHER! \n\nJeff wept and wept and his brother turned into a tree and it grew and grew and then Jeff built a tree house in the tree and it was great.\n\n[[Until later...]]\n\n-By Theo Richardson
A hobo appeared on a magical rainbow pony and gave Jeff a potato that granted him omnipotence.\n\n[[Until, quite quickly...]]\n\n-By Finnigan Ryan
The trees in Jeff's garden began to grow. They grew taller than the woman who stood on the corner. Then they grew taller than 15 brown cows all piling on top of each other. Then they were touching the sky itself. Oh dear, that was too high.\n\nThey grew through the sky, cracking it, and making it rain drops of life, turning every car alive. Oh, it was wonderful. Jeff cried with joy. He was so happy... Happy...\n\n[[Until, eventually...]]\n\n-By McKenzie Read
Met an alien. The alien shot Jeff in the head but... IT WAS A HOLOGRAM OF JEFF! Then Jeff shanked the alien from behind. Again and again and again and again and NOT AGAIN and again and, oh crap, again. Then Jeff hit the bottom of the pit, finally. SPLAT! Jeff was turned into mush then he came back to life as living jelly. Then he fell in a grate and was stuck there.\n\n[[Until finally...]]\n\n-By Theo Richardson
A Collaboration By\n-Marcus Garvey\n-Theo Richardson\n-Lewis O'Flynn\n-Finnigan Ryan\n-McKenzie Reed